Saltmarsh

The Lost Dungeon of Rickedness Part 9

Thursday May 21, 2020

The only way out…..is through….

Cliche Giant Dice Attack Room

After surviving the Chuck-e-Cheese at the Hotel California, the heroes walk into the giant attacking dice room. There was this picture on the cover art, but I was disappointed that this idea was not included in the dungeon, so I borrowed inspiration from this scene from the 1984 terrible movie called cloak and dagger

The heroes dodged, ducked, dipped, dived, and dodged the giant D20’s and attacking D6’s.

Empty Nest Syndrome

A distinctively earthy smell wafts toward you as you approach the door ahead. You hear snuffling and snorting, and an occasional vexed grumbling sound.

This odiferous room is overflowing with piles of hay, long branches, and dozens of bones picked clean of meat. Feathers have formed downy beds where they’ve drifted into the dim corners of the room. A particularly large pile of hay emits the snuffling sound heard before.

The one major issue, though, is that her nest is blocking the exit into the next room.

This owlbear had her babies stolen by nasty, mean old Rick for use as monsters in another of his dungeons. She just happened to have as many cublets as there are members of the party, and she misses her wayward offspring terribly. She attempts to make this clear by presenting her hatched eggs to the party and moaning.

To placate her, the entire party must assuage her grieving maternal instinct. How they do so is up to them, but the easiest way is to disguise themselves as owlbear cublets (using feathers and clumps of fur, easily found in the nest) and get cozy with their new mom. This delights the owlbear, who immediately ushers them into the nest and grooms them thoroughly with her razor-sharp beak. The experience is actually quite pleasant. 

The Heroes placate the OwlBear. Livvy finds a ring of protection and 2 potions of healing

Happy Skeletons

As you draw nearer to this room, you hear the sounds of rattling bones. Not in a spooky way—in a fun way!

A group of skeletons appears to be examining something set up on a stand between them, but you can’t quite see what it is. Bone-crafted sculptures adorn the room. Or wait … is that one sculpture actually a drum set?

One of the skeletons spots you and gestures wildly, beckoning you to come over. The other skeletons look over and also start gesturing. It’s just fun skeletons!

The Heroes picked up some instruments and played along. Some of the Heroes were given Maracas, a Tambourine, a Triangle, and a Cowbell. The heroes received the following as thank you gifts for loot.

Bone Gifts

d6        Instrument

  1. Bone guitar
  2. Bone drum set
  3. Bone saxophone
  4. Bone bass guitar
  5. Bone upright bass
  6. Bone xylophone

Garz is tone deaf, stood guard, and has no mojo baby

Nice Butterfly Room

Where do you dweebs think you’re going? There’s no room there. I should know, don’t you think? I INVENTED this dungeon! Don’t … no! Hey! Quit walking over there!

Okay, what the f***? I didn’t put this room here, so which one of you clowns did? Now listen, you think it’s funny to mess with rickety old grandpa Rick, but I have WAY more good years left than any of you do, so—Hey, who the hell are you? What is this? You can’t just—get your hands off me! Where are you taking —

Sorry about how mean this dungeon has been so far. This is a nice room. Shafts of golden light filter in from some unknown source. Hundreds of butterflies flit gently across the room, sometimes landing on beautiful flowers growing out of the walls and floor. Somewhere in the ceiling, speakers play soothing new-agey music.

What the Heck’s Going On Here?

Hey Dungeon Master! Ooh boy, Rick’s really done it this time! There’s an multiplanar intergalactic entity that’s been stalking him for a while—tale as old as time, right? Anyway, dimension C-137 is pretty well guarded. Rick has set up a lot of precautions. I don’t think he set them up to guard this realm, though, and now this entity’s taken control of the rest of the dungeon! Proceed with caution, y’all!

The Heroes mega rested, they feel good about themselves, and sport some temporary hit points

Boss Room

This is the end game. If anyone has anything they wanted to get off their chest, they should probably deal with it now. Then read the following:

Even from a distance, it’s easy to see that this room wasn’t intended to be easily accessed. Chunks of stone and wood lie strewn outside the door, which is riddled with broken locks. Magic wards sizzle ineffectively, their power reduced to nothing.

At the same time, warm rays of light beckon you inside. You feel pushed toward the room—which might be due to the floor beginning to gently tilt toward the battered doorway.

A simple wooden table bearing a small, squarish cloth-covered object sits in the middle of the room. Patterns of scintillating green stones cover the floor and walls.

Oh, yes, it is a delicious mystery, isn’t it? You feel that only good things hide beneath the cloth. It’s going to feel so nice to pull off that cloth. You take a moment to feel grateful for your opposable thumbs, which allow you to pull cloths off things on tables! How lucky you are!

What Lies Beneath

The table and the object on it aren’t trapped, but a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Investigation) check reveals that wasn’t always the case. The remains of a disabled pressure plate reveal a mechanism that would have released a boulder from the ceiling, obliterating anyone inside the room. Real original, Rick.

Removing the cloth reveals a framed portrait of Rick, Beth, Summer, and Morty, smiling widely. A Jerry-shaped hole has been cut out of the portrait. As soon as the characters realize what it is, read the following:

That’s it?! This is what he had locked up so tight in here? Rick’s weakness is his family? Absolutely impossible. He doesn’t even like them!

Wait … they look an awful lot like … all of you. Well, that makes this easy.

The blue/yellow  stones around the characters begin to shake, ripping themselves out of the floor and walls. Each creature in the room must succeed on a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone. The stones regroup themselves into the form of a giant 30 foot tall Morty. Mecha Morty starts wailing on some Heroes.

Rousing Rick

As the stones fly up from the floor, they reveal a 20-foot-deep pit with a humanoid lying at the bottom. A successful DC 10 Wisdom (Perception) check allows a character to recognize the form as Rick Sanchez himself, dressed in wizardly garb and clearly unconscious.

The Heroes drop down and wake Rick.

Rick wakes up and says

“RICK HAS REGAINED CONTROL, B**CHES!”

Listen next time for the exciting conclusion!

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